How many times

How many times do I cry myself to sleep before it'll go away? I just wish I was numb

Some days I just feel like I'm dying. It's hard to take a breath without crying and today is one of those. All I want to do is come home and figure out what to make for dinner with you, and snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. It kills me that you think I didn't want our life, I wanted everything with you. I loved being at home with you,  going out with you, one post about me being bored was about me. What about reading all the love posts about you. I love you...legit everything with you because I loved you. I love you so much. I just can't do this...how to you live after that..i know I messed up and made mistakes becausee I didn't love me, i couldn't figure me out. I thought you loved me though.

Some days I just feel like I'm dying. It's hard to take a breath without crying and today is one of those. All I want to do is come home and figure out what to make for dinner with you, and snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. It kills me that you think I didn't want our life, I wanted everything with you. I loved being at home with you,  going out with you...legit everything with you because I loved you. I love you so much. I just can't do this...how to you live after that..i know I messed up and made mistakes becausee I didn't love me, i couldn't figure me out. I thought you loved me though

I just want to drive home to you, I want to run and tackle you and rub my face on your face. I still can't believe every night when I'm driving home that you're not there...i don't care how much time passes . I wanted us more than anything and still do. I made mistakes but I tried to learn and grown from them and it seems a waste to not be able to have our love and show you and prove to you that wed have an amazing life. I'd never stop trying to make you and myself happy.

Into the wild I go: losing my mind, finding my soul

Look around you. How many people do you think are settling? Probably a hellof a lot. People settle into okay relationships, okay jobs, okay friendships, and an okay life...and that okay. Why? Because ok is comfortable, okay pays the bills and provides a warm bed at night. Some people are fine with okay. But okay is not thrilling,it isn't passion, it isn't kissing someone 1000 times because you just can't stop, it's not life changing or unforgettable. Okay is not the reason you risk absolutely everything you've got for the smallest chance that somethibg absolutely amazing could happen. If you want okay then by all means settle. If you want to risk it all to for the chance to be happy and take a risk then stop over thinking and live, take the risk, jump all in. See what happens.

Miles away

I never let My guard go down until you
And now that's messed me up since you're not around
When the high wore off i know you needed space But I don't wanna wait and miss, I don't wanna mistake

Few hundred miles away
Picture your eyes as I fall asleep
Tell myself it's alright, as the tears roll by, I wish I could feel your face
I'm helpless when I'm miles away

I never felt
A room so still
See the future coming
Hope it isn't real
I learned to fake a smile
As the time runs out
Doesn't matter when I'm miles away

What you need

“So i'll let you go / I'll set you free / And when you see what you need to see / When you find you come back to me"? – David Cook

Sometimes the hardest thing for us to accept is that sometimes you actually do have to let someone go if you ever hope to have a chance to be together.

Sometimes you really do have to let go if there is any chance of the two of you working in the future. 

Not everyone you meet is ready for a relationship. Not everyone you fall in love with is at the same place as you mentally and emotionally. Not everyone is going to be ready to give you the kind of love that you need.

This doesn’t always mean it’s the end. It doesn’t mean that the love isn’t there anymore. It simply means that you have to let this person go. You have to let them go so that they can find themselves.

You have to let them go so they can learn to live without you. You have to let them go so they can learn what they want, what they need and how to give it back in return.

Maybe they have demons they need to fight. Maybe they have battles they need to overcome. Regardless of what, letting go of someone doesn’t mean the end, it doesn’t mean that this chapter is closed.

What it does mean is that the timing isn’t right. What it does mean is that you need to take a step back and love them afar. Just because you cant be in their daily life right now, doesn’t mean it will be that way forever.

It just has to be this way right now. For very good reasons, it has to be.