My day consisted of
A big bed on the floor
Lots of kisses
Hugs
Tickling
Laughing
Pajamas
A lot of teasing
Love
Legend of the fall
Friends
And just being really happy

I am in such a conflicting and confusing place right now. kinda cant wait to see what is going to happen in this new year.

enjoy some music

I feel rubbed down and raw. I Shouldnt have to go through this and feel this way. its wrong. it hurts. im sick of hiding it.

Here by my side, in my summer, our last summer
The world passes by in my summer, our last summer
The light makes shadows fall, surrounded by each other
I let you watch it all, the view from our last summer
The view from our last summer...
We trace the sun across the sky

And we laugh till we cry
Always so hard to say goodbye (good bye)
And we all sit round here in our home town
It's so good like this, these are times we'll miss
The memories, I hope will never fade
Glowing embers fly across the sky your

It’s everything that you seem to ignore.

The classroom that you treated as a bore.

The alcohol you drink but never bought.

The dress you stole, and were never caught.

The bed you wake up in that’s not your own.

The makeup you applied two days ago.

The night you lost your phone on the way home.

The taxi ride where you decided your end goal.

And still I try to lure you into my own hurricane, it’s like you spot me trying from a thousand miles away.

oh how people look at me strangely when i listen to these...but i just love'em!

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say I'm clean, I'm clean

My year in words

This year flew by so fast. I remember this time last year and it seems like it just happened. A lot has gone down this year though..it was a year of some growing up and some learning.

It was a year of:

Dancing

Drunk people (lots of them)

Laughing until I cried

Falling in love

Regrets

Hope

Locking my keys in my car

Locking them in again and again....and again

Amazing amazing music

Meeting new people that changed my life

My wives

3 am girls

Getting lost

Long middle of the night phone calls

Lots of pictures

Tears

Long car rides with loud music

Blowing my speakers because of the loud music

Losing a friend

Top model

Colors

A lot of pink lemonade

Garage sales

Wishing things were different

Wishing I didn't have to wish

And just a lot a lot of learning about myself.

Over all it has been a good year, Im still alive and haven't messed up my life so far.
I hope that 2012 will be a year of more growing, figuring what I want/need with and in my life. I have made so many amazing friends this year and some not so amazing ones. But the good ones will stick and be friends for life, Iv had a broken heart, iv cried and iv wiped away my tears. I know I have grown up a little but am no where close to who I want to be yet..im still trying to figure that part out and hope that I dont regret what I pass up along the way to get there.

gotta love this

Everything you want so let me get up there
I'm the baddest baby in the atmosphere
Tell me what you want so we can do just what you like

this is what happens when we dont sleep

this video steals my heart

This is what I want

when am I going to figure my life out? I feel pulled in so many directions and im not sure if i even want to move let alone which way to move to. You know what i really want? I want to forget everything, get rid of all my stuff, pack a small bag, grab my camera and just drive away, across the states, across the world. I want to see things, breath them in, capture them, experience everything. see new colors, new smells, touch new things, run around for pointless reasons...just because i want to. This is what I want..now how do i get it?

We spent some time
together walking
Spent some time just talking
about who we were
You held my hand so
very tightly
And told me what we
could be dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together drinking
Spent some time just thinking
about days of joy
As our hearts started
beating faster
I recalled your laughter
from long ago

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together crying
Spent some time just trying
to let each other go
I held your hand so
very tightly
And told you what I would be
dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I
So why do I even try?
There’s nothing like you and I

I dont really know what im getting myself into, and im not really sure how to handle it...so im just gonna listen to music instead. I swear i dont know what i would do with out my music..drowns everything else out

freaking take a deep breath and lose yourself to these sounds

I lose myself in music because its the only thing in my life that is constant and wont let me down, makes me feel alive and send so many different types of emotions through me. touches me more deeply then any person ever has. my music causes you to regress and recall a time when..
































music coma!

explosion of epic music

here ya go!





<3

















thats probably all your heads can handle from this explosion of epic music

How is it?

How is it that these guys can make me feel so much more alive then anything else? How is it that I can fall in love with a beat or a lyric and have it completely change my life?

ahhhh im so angry! i really need to figure out what i want, and i need to work on being a better person

And now an awesome play list for you to listen and live to :)

























ahh this is all i feel like sharing, your welcome! <3

I think iv shared frou frou before...but here they are again, enjoy!

everyone needs to stop relying on everyone else to be happy. Make yourself happy. I dont NEED anyone to be happy, I mean i am very blessed that i have people in my life that do make me happy, but i still can be happy on my own. If you rely so much on other people for your happiness you are going to be let down and then start blaming them for your troubles and unhappiness. thats not fair to them or yourself. I find happiness in so much, I fall in love with so much, like new music, bright colors, painting, making people smile, my books, zelda...theres so much that you can find to make yourself happy. go find it and learn to be happy alone, because then you will be happier when you are with someone.

so i just had my birthday and i almost didnt survive through it, i have been partying since thursday. let me tell you though, i really realized just how amazing all my friends are, i fell in love with all of them just a little bit for making my birthday the most amazing one ever.

last night was dancing, attempting to steal pumpkins, laughing until we cried, a lot of make up, even more hairspray and a whole lot of crazy pictures. I love my friends!

oh goodness can you say myspace..i feel the need to answer pointless quesions about myself

-1. Last beverage:peach snapple!

-2. Last phone call: haha my dentist?

-3. Last text message: derek

-4. Last song you listened to: blink 182 all the small things!

-5. Last time you cried: hmmmmm a fw days ago while reading

HAVE YOU EVER:

-6. Dated someone twice: yes?

-7. Been cheated on: not that i know of

-8. Kissed someone & regretted it: no regrets baby

-9. Lost someone special: yes very

-10. Been depressed:haven't we all?

-11. Been drunk and threw up: bleh not fun times

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

-12.Pink

-13. Green

-14. red

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2010)

-15. Made a new friend: some really really really good ones

-16. Fallen out of love: nope fallen deeper

-17. Laughed until you cried: haha this happens to me alot

-18. Met someone who changed you: alot even if they dont know it

-19. Found out who your true friends were: hmm iv always known but kinda done with the not so good friends

-20. Found out someone was talking about you: iv never really cared

-21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: haha a few

-22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? all of them

-23. How many kids do you want? lots of Cambodian babies!

-25. Do you want to change your name: my middle name yes, my first name nooo

-26. What did you do for your last birthday?: party and worked..this birthday will be better!

-28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: with Benjamin watching the walking dead!

-29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: MY BIRTHDAY!

-30. Last time you saw your Mother: a lil bit ago son

-31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: ummm id have more time

-33. who was the last person to cheer you up: sarah :)

-34. Who is getting on your nerves now? no one right now

-35. Most visited webpage: Facebook and blogger

-36. Whats your real name: Hayley doesntlikehermiddlename sullivan

-37. Nicknames: ha

-38. Relationship Status?: getting my datin on

-39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

-40. Male or female?: Female.

-41. Primary School?: home

-42. Secondary School?: home again!

-43. High school/college?: home! omgosh i will go far

-44. Hair color: At the moment, brownish red.

-45. Long or short: gettin petty long

-46. Height: 5'11"

-47. Do you have a crush on someone?:yes i believe i do

-48: What do you like about yourself?: well i have good taste in music

-49. Piercings: ears and nose

-50: Tattoos: wrist and foot

-51. Righty or lefty: Righty.

FIRSTS :

-52. First surgery: on my foot..painfull

-53. First piercing: Ears.

-54. First best friend: brittany cole

-55. First sport you joined: softball...yeah i know

-56. First vacation: i dont remember

-57. First nightmare: dude

-58. First Love: Benjamin

RIGHT NOW:

-59. Watching: what do you think?

-60. Texting: a few different people, im so popular ;)

-62. Talking: no

-63. Listening to: good charlotte..im in a early 2000's music mood

YOUR FUTURE :

-64. Want kids?: Cambodia!!!!

-65. Get married?: would be nice

-66. Career: im figuring it out

EITHER OR:

-67. Lips or eyes: kinda both...and hands

-68. Hugs or kisses?: both

-69. Shorter or taller: Taller.

-70. Older or Younger: i like'em old and gray

-71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

-72. Nice stomach or nice arms : how about nice personality

-73. Sensitive or loud: In between.

-74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationships.

HAVE YOU EVER :

-76. Kissed a stranger: welll...

-77. Drank hard liquor: bleh yes

-78. Lost glasses/contacts: nah son

-79. Sex on first date: nope

-80. Broken someone's heart: i really never want to do that

-82. Been arrested: nah

-83. Turned someone down: Yup.

-84. Cried when someone died: Yes.

-85. Fallen for a friend: haha yeah i did

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

-86. Yourself: i do about somehings

-88. Love at first sight: ehhh

-89. Heaven: yes

-90. Santa Claus: duh

-91. Kiss on the first date: yes(does this make me easy?)

-92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

-94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: never

-95. Did you sing today? all the time!!

-97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? summer i was 18

-98. The moment you would choose to relive?: :) thats just for me

-99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: i dont think so

-100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?:terrified, im shaking..dumb

ahahaha myspace surveys use to be so fun

this is like rainy bumming around the house day music

im so sorry if im overloading you with amazing music and you just cant handle it..but today was just a music day and i have to share.

These are my if i was lost in a city songs <3










Tegan and sara just take me back to philly to the best time of my life so far







theres more but i dont have time to search for them now

I wonder who reads my blog..if anyone? I dont think im interesting enough to have devoted followers except theres a random couple in Turkey who seems to love it for some odd reason (by the way HI!) and if there are any more followers out there who read my blog...im sorry im not more interesting.


now lets take it back to the 90's!

<3

Oh my word im gonna scream. I swear i have all this pent up energy, i gotta do something to get rid of it, the way i feel right now there is no way im sleeping. now hes some amazing music by an amazing guy

out of work with the whole night ahead of me :) btw i love this guy so much

im so lost right now

i dont even know whats going on with my lately. I feel like everything is good and im ok and its all good and then i have a quiet non-busy day and its like all these feelings and thoughts come rushing at me and i cant run from them. i cant deal with some of them, im just not that person, i dont want to be that person. i want to be content with what i have right now. why do i have to think?

A day of work that never seems to end, but when it finally does im greeted with blue skies, wind(i love windy days) and the possibility of a great day. found new music that i think im going to fall in love with, watched top gun, got a kiss and strawberry milk..it really doesnt take much to make me happy.

This is why i love books so much, if i dont like whats going on..i stop reading or if i love whats going on i can read it until i die. i pretty much have all the control or i can just write my own story. I realize no one knows what im talking about about..but i just wish i could shut the book of my life right now and start a different one, but leave parts of the old one the same

You wanna know a question i have been asking myself lately? what am i doing? I am have only really been asking myself that because everyone else has. Here is my answer...I DONT KNOW. Why do i have to know? im sorry if not having an answer bothers people but there it is. Why cant i just live and figure it out on the way? who said there has to be some grand master plan? I dont want to live by a plan, to me that just sounds stressful and not much fun. I mean its not like im blindly coasting through life, i have an ideal of where i want to end up..sorta..but that doesn't even matter. It's my life and i say i dont want a plan, i want to make mistakes, i want to make right decisions, i want to be lost and not worry about it and i want people to stop asking or looking at me like im lost and they feel sorry for me. you know maybe they are the ones that are lost because they feel like they HAVE to have a plan, like without it they wouldnt know which way to turn. I dont need this whole big plan to live and succeed. Truth is I do have a little plan, not one that controls my life to the point where i cant deviate from it but even if i told them that it probably still wouldn't be good enough. I wish people would slow down a little and just enjoy what they do have right now instead of always thinking about what they want in the future or what they could get. God just stop thinking about everything and feel! go skinny dipping, get lost on a back road, be part of a riot, stay out all night and dont go to bed, waste all afternoon finding new music or reconnecting with old music that you use to love but forgot about, do something that scares you and just stop stop stop thinking about if its gonna get you anywhere, burn the plan and the map and just take what life is already giving you and run with it, and if you cant do that...well then just do the rest of us a favor and stop pushing your plan on the rest of us free people who could careless. now that my rant is all over and i feel a little better...im gonna leave you with some music

Hayley's books

Daughter of the Forest

by Juliet Marillier

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

by Rachel Cohn

Gingerbread

by Rachel Cohn

Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List

by Rachel Cohn

Shrimp

by Rachel Cohn

I love you as a woman who loves a man, as a heroine loves a hero, as i have never loved anyone in my entire life.

this band should be wayyy more popular then they are

I am going to take this moment to be a little bit vain. I'm sorry.

:)

Things i should never stop doing.

1: making brownies just to eat the batter.

2:walking around naked just because i can.

3:listening to spice girls.

4:listening to backstreet boys.

5: having sleepovers.

6: dancing around my room in my underwear.

7: having hot guy movie night.

8: getting my face painted at carnivals.

9: being excited about getting balloons and walking around with them.

10: playing dress up.

11: making sand turtles at the beach.

12: playing in puddles after it rains.

13: hugging everyone i love.

14:laughing.

15:kissing.

16:drinking chai at boulders.

17: jumping on the trampoline.

18: reading old romance books.

19: making time to just do dumb stuff with friends.

20: skinny dipping.

21: driving around in my car with the radio up super loud.

seriously an amazing day..i feel back on track, at least for the time being. lets just hope this lasts

how come this song feels like it was written for how my life has been feeling lately?...

im about to blow this up with music videos





tegan and sara bring back so many memories for me...but they really make me want to go back to philly.


ok maybe i dont have that many right now but ill add more later

who wants to go for a ride with me??




like YES

Im crafty

My life is taking a turn for the worse... I think im going to be meeting rock bottom pretty soon

not a huge lil wayne fan but iv always loved this song

I feel like im going to hit rock bottom in the up coming future and im scared

What happened to the promises, to the talks, to forever, to the kisses, to the hugs, to best friends, to the smiles, the phone calls, to loving me...what happened to goodbye?

A face only my mother could love

i can not move im way to tired. Im tired of scooping ice cream, putting away clothes, folding clothes, cooking hamburgers, getting up early, staying out way to late working...im just tired of it all. i need to find my calling in life because this is not it!

Well I hope the world doesnt end today, I look pretty!

I wish people didnt take beautiful things and make them dirty and gross. whats wrong with our world and why are people so selfish? i really just want to shake everyone and yell at them. its not that hard to just be a deceit human being! try it sometime i bet you would be a lot happier!

So i totally got molested via phone call at work today, but i think coming home to strawberry short cake makes up for it!

I dont know whats wrong with me

I kinda cant help it but i love this song

I wish I could run away and just start everything all over. Leave every single person i know behind, leave my jobs, everything and just start new. I hate the pattern of my life, I want to change it but I dont know how without starting all over again. I dont want to hurt anyone I just want to leave

Sometimes you just need a girls night!

I had the most amazing day yesterday. Ben was buying a guitar off of some guy on Craigslist, so we decided to make it a craigslist adventure day! we walked around lock port and i bought an antique chair that is awesome, then we went to Niagara falls. we didnt even listen to the radio, it was one of those days where we never ran out of anything to talk about or we just drove and held hands. over all it was the most perfect day:)

what i would do for a nice big basket of strawberries right now.

there is an animal outside that is making the loudest creepiest noise...i think something is dying!

on an other note, i had a very very very good day off..the last one for 2 weeks so i tried to make it count. and here are some pictures taken by my Benjamin. I know they are all of me. I am vain.