I don't want 25 to end.

I know I've been whining about turning 26 and I don't want to get older, but it's more than just that. I had such a good year being 25 and I'm just net ready to say goodbye to that yet and jump into the next age. I made great friends, I fell deeper in love than I ever thought I could, I had that cute little apartment in the city and I had great nights. What if 26 isn't as good?

That kind of love

 It’s so easy to love someone when things are perfect and everything’s wonderful. But to love someone when things are difficult, when they’re not being perfect, when they’re messing up, flaws are seen, mistakes are made, i think that’s what really allows you to see how much love really is there. Anyone can love someone who’s doing and saying all the right things, being everything you want and need, when they’ve got it all together, when they have it all figured out, but to love someone at their lowest, to love someone despite how broken they feel, when they’re lost, when you’re willing to stand by them no matter how challenging or difficult things may be, i think that kind of love is a lot more beautiful. I think that kind of love is a lot more meaningful. That's the kind of love I strive for, that's the kind of love I want to give. You don't always have to be perfect. I'm not going anywhere, I'm here. And that's the kind of love I want in return.

I didn't understand...until now

Until I met you I didn't understand love songs or why people danced with each other

I didn't understand kissing or why it was beautiful

I didn't understand texting someone when you just saw them, that need to not end the conversation

I didn't understand why coming home could be such a happy feeling

I didn't understand how missing someone could make you love them even more

I didn't understand how your heart could feel like its about to explode with love

I didn't understand how you could be doing nothing with the person you love and be the happiest ever

I didn't understand any of this before you

I didn't understand love before you

Thank you for teaching me

We should all just dance

I just read a quote by friedrich Nietzsche
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."
It really made me think about how I judge people based on something I don't understand or how I'm sure I'm judged by people who don't understand me. I also think there's a little bit of jealously there as well, the people judging are jealous of the dancers. We really shouldn't have that mindset, its sad and uncreative to just automatically judge someone based on something you don't understand; it holds you back from experiencing new things or being open to new and different friendships. If we as a people could just overcome that fault imagine how great life would be, no more bullies at school or work, more friendships and that would just make life so much more happier and richer.

Silly girl

You silly girl, you crazy, stupid, stubborn girl. When will you learn that you are better and stronger than you think? When will you realize that you are not bullet proof so stop hiding how you feel, you are soft and alive, you bruise but you heal ; and that is what's so beautiful about you. You are a warm, loving human so embrace your emotion and realize that they are not weak, they make you beautiful.

Crave

Its 2 am and I can only lay in bed and crave what I can't have. I want open spaces, I miss having room to breathe and get lost in. I want to go for late night drives with the windows rolled down and the warm wind slipping through my fingers. I want more adventure, random crazy adventure. I'm so scared of losing who I am. Getting stuck in a routine and forgetting that I enjoy randomness, spending my day off painting, sleeping in, just driving to go no where. I'm trying not to forget who I am but its hard until I'm alone at 2 am and its all I can think about.

What I've learned

I use to freak out if everything didn't go a certain way, I'd  stress out so bad if I thought things shouldn't be happening the way they were. Well guess what unexpected things happen, that doesn't mean the world will end it just means I had to learn to be flexible.  I learned that I couldn't control everything that happens in my life but what I can control is how I handle it. I just had to make a decision,  stress out when life throws me a curve ball or handle it with courage,  humor and grace?   Guess which one I chose. And things have worked out...they didn't go as planned but they worked out. I decided I liked being lost in the right direction.