I want to know everything

I want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn't think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mothers name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mothers joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you've been unkind. Tell me all the ways you've been cruel. And if you don’t believe in miracles, tell me, how would you explain the miracle of my life to me?  And if you've felt denied, denied by who[m]? I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you’re feeling good. I wanna know what you see in the mirror on a day a day you’re feeling bad. I wanna know the first person who ever taught you your beauty could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass. If you ever reach enlightenment, will you remember how to laugh? Have you ever been a song? See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds. And if you dream sometimes that this life is just a balloon that if you wanted to you could pop—but you never would because you’d never want it to stop

How to be a better person in 2014

1. Learn to be okay with not being okay.

2. Learn to have conversations that do not consist of lambasting someone else, especially when that someone is you.

3. Give the most kindness to those who seem like they least deserve it.

4. Learn to define and describe people without initially reaching for their sex or appearance as key adjectives.

5. Realize that perspective determines everything.

6. Understand that when something upsets you, it’s striking a nerve of truth.

7. Understand that when someone upsets you, the best thing to do is understand where they’re coming from.

8. Know that no matter how far you’ve come, there’s no point at which it’s appropriate to remain sedentary.

9. Be radically, sincerely honest. Be shocked at how deeply you can connect with people when you are.

10. Know that if you want to have a conversation about something that upsets you, insulting someone is only the by-product of your own defenses, and will ultimately raise theirs as well, not open lines of understanding and communication.

11. Realize that selflessness is one of the most predominantly wonderful qualities a person can have.

12. Learn to actually feel happy for other people.

13. Go into everything with the knowing that you don’t know it all, and that every experience is valid.

14. Invest in extra linens, donate what you don’t use, and keep extra Tylenol on you because people tend to need it and be without it rather frequently.

15. Call your siblings more.

16. Be present in what’s at hand. You owe it to the people in your life and to the things you’ve built for yourself.

17. Understand that letting go and moving on means very humbly and slowly gesturing in the direction of which you’d like to reach.

18. Get dressed everyday, just for yourself.

19. Give better goodbyes.

20. Carve out time to do nothing but be with yourself.

21. Boldly make yourself your first priority. You’ll do everything better when you do.

22. Stop shaming yourself for doing things that are perfectly, normally human, but happen to be deemed imperfect in society.

23. Read. A lot.

24. Reach out to people, open your heart, and watch how eagerly they jump in and do the same

Do something once a day that scares you

Found this video years ago but to this day every time I watch it I still get chills. Take his advice.

A burning yes

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.

Love the realness

I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words

My biffle<3

we're NOT perfect. we laugh too hard. we're way too loud and we make complete fools of ourselves. we're much too comfortable with each other, and a little too close for comfort. our smiles are genuine, & we make our drinks too strong. but somehow we know that being together is whats going to make us last forever

I am tired of trying to hold things together that cannot be held. Trying to control what cannot be controlled. I am tired of denying myself what I want for fear of breaking things I cannot fix. They will break no matter what I do

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This boy:)

Noah<3

Nothing makes me happier than my little man and his chubby little cheeks<3

“Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out. You're curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you're waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go.”

My soulmate and biffle<3

I have no idea why people think we're weird...

My life is in pictures

Having one of those "I'm home sick" nights. I just want to be surrounded by the people I love. So lets take s picture trip down memory lane.

I miss these people

The Lumineers - Slow It Down

it's not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy ♡ spending this day thankful for all i have

so lost in my mind

What if?

What if. What if we could turn back the dial. Turn back the dial to a time when laughter was easy, and worries and cares were a million miles away. Turn the dial back to that moment right before the pain began. When innocence was lost. What if.....

In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take. p.s. So in love with this song lately

Always

I always try to think of something profound to write. Kinda like I dont want to release something into the world unless its super duper cool and inspiring. Unfortunately though most everything I write is rubbish. Just a girl who has to much to say but doesnt have the right words. I like to think maybe the words jusr haven't been invented yet ...that or im just beyond weird. Probably that last one.
Well happy Wednesday night everyone!

The loneliest moment

The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.

Im not sure

I'm not sure what I’ll do, but— well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.

Just Be

Life is far too short To be sad, To be mad, To hold regret, To look back, To be depressed, To be unkind, Be nice and DO GOOD. Every day is new. None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward because we trust. because we have faith. Just hold onto that, Breath and live life. Enjoy what you have even if it doesnt seem enough to you. be thankful. Spend a lazy day in bed with your cat, go for a run, watch a old movie, laugh at dumb things, bake cookies...just be happy for life.

Bring it

So this time last year I was living in my adorable pink Apartment in Bport with my roommate Brittany, and let me tell you I loved it. Last summer holds a bunch of memories for me, from drunken waffle night to naked cliff jumping. It was just a summer full of ups and downs, friends laughing and friends crying but it was also my last summer in NY with my friends and I think thats making me miss it so much right now. I'm not saying this summer isnt going to be great because it is but I know im going to miss all the crazy people in my life. Its crazy to think of what has changed in just a year, I no longer live in my pink apartment, I can no longer walk down mainsteet to seawards and get an ice cream or walk to wegmans and eat all the samples every Saturday morning, I can no longer drive 15 minutes to my mom's and have her cook me dinner. Now I have an ice cream truck that delivers ice cream to my apartment every night, My place is no longer pink, instead of going to wegmans I have to settle for food lion and the only time I see my mom is through the computer. Do I miss NY? sure but I also love where I'm at right now and this time next year who knows where I'll be....but I know i'm not afraid of change. So bring on this North Carolina summer so I can make some new friends & new memories here.

My new town

I've fallen in love with my new town

:)

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I forget just for a second where I am and how far I've come in just a few short months and I gott say..im pretty damn proud of myself.

I believe

I believe in magic, I believe in love. I believe that your life is what you make of it. I've had bad times and I've had good times. Thats life and out of that good and that bad you get to choose what defines you. That is whats so great about it...you get to choose, you make that choice. So if your life isnt what you wanted then dont blame it on other people, where you end up and how you do it is all up to you. Do not let people push you around, Do not let the world make you hard, Do not let the bad things make you sad forever. This is the only life you get, challenge yourself, push yourself, love as many people as you can, smile until you wrinkle from it. stop over thinking everything. Sometimes you need to just let it go and move on. find out who you are & love it. this is your life, take control and shape it or someone else will...

Done waiting

So I have been a little to busy to keep up posting. so i'll let you know whats been going on. I am moving to new bern NC! which is exciting and scary and I cant wait to see what this new chapter in my life brings. I am sad to leave behind family and friends but I cant let that stop me from making something of myself and discovering new things. I will miss everything and everyone here. its scary leaving everything you know...but if you dont take that leap you never will. you cant wait until you're ready..otherwise you will always be waiting. And I am done waiting.

Forget the crap

Ever feel like you are trapped in a dull repetitive life and you're trying so hard to dig your self out but you keep slipping deeper and deeper? well take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are alive. This is just a chapter, its never to late & never stop trying. life is worth the fight. I know it doesnt always seem worth it, but remember those lazy mornings, when you wake up and the sun is shining, or those late amazing nights with friends laughing at the dumbest things? thats life and thats what you have to hang on to when all the other crap gets in the way. make a playlist of songs that just take you away, listen to that and just breath. this is your life, if you're not happy then change it. make it amazing because you only have one so MAKE IT COUNT. I know people say its not the simple, im just asking you to remember what its like to be young and happy but dont just live on old stories..keep making them

raging nights

I want raging nights, dark and wild. lit only by the city, bonfires and candles. I want sun-kissed mornings. breezy & free, interrupted only by lovers & friends.